I'm quite inspired with my writing. Talk about loving oneself. I do angst pretty well, methinks. it's sad that i write best when i am upset. when i'm happy, i can barely find the words. It's as if the happiness has overcome the void, the void which writing provides. the need to express is gone. the aching need to release. it's just a feeling of compete gratitude of which you just take in. imbibe. enjoy.

sadness is the opposite. sadness is a need to remove the bitterness eating you up, so you write and write and write because writing relieves and you aren't hurting anyone. even if your thoughts are completely selfish. also, you aren't being judged because your thoughts enjoy a private audience--yourself.

i'm sad that my laziness has gotten the best of my better days. it would be nice to see how i could've documented Cambodia or my first few months here in HK. Or all my random dating just to prove to myself that i could do it. that there is hope for me. And that i am the cool person i project myself to be. yes, at this age, one shouldn't be bothered with what's cool and what's not but i've come to realize, for as long as you live, love and appreciation for oneself is necessary. we were made in the image and likeness of God after all and how best to honor his creation but by loving ourself.

you only live one life and i should pay homage to mine.

so i say, Thank God for my life. Thank God for me. I will try to bring joy to others and be the good person i really want to be. I just forget sometimes. So what if once i a while my pride gets hurt, if all is done in the spirit of good intentions, i've already succeeded.

this may not be my best post but hey, i'm glad i got it out. and for once, i'm not upset.